To Kill a Mockingbird

Darkest Hour wrote:Illuza
Level 8/EARTH
3000/2500
[Rock/Effect] Cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. Must first be Special Summoned by banishing 1 EARTH and 1 FIRE Monster in your Graveyard. You can pay 1000 Life Points to destroy all cards on the field. If you do, banish the destroyed cards.
It's a little like CED so i'm a little scared Although it destroys itself which is nice, you could easily follow up with another one of these for an unhindered direct attack

Shamsuggah
Level 5/FIRE
500/2800
[Insect/Effect] You can Special Summon this card from your hand to the opponent's side of the field by sending 1 monster your opponent controls to their hand.
That's pretty cool, goes well in any deck which also uses Infiltrators. What a weird name, though.

Bland and Generic Metallic Takahashi Soldier
Level 4/EARTH
1900/1400
[Warrior] This sharp-edged, cheaply colored robot standing in front of this unforgettably ill-designed background ALMOST looks like a machine, but he's not! He's wearing armor! Isn't he so memorable and important to the yugioh universe?
Almost as memorable as watapon.

Adjective Adjective Astrological Reference Dragon
Level 8/LIGHT
3000/2500
[Dragon] Look at me! I'm shiny! You better get used to seeing me because there are always going to be more! Am I useful? Am I revolutionary? Not really, but the children fuckin' LOVE ME!
It's for the children so that makes it OK.

Inconsistently Named Metallic Soldier Person
Level 3/LIGHT
1700/1400
[Warrior] I add no flavor, no strategy and no innovation to this set. Hey, don't get mad if you pull me. It's not my fault. Blame Kazuki Takahashi for drawing me, and letting Konami decide that I was going to suck and be at the bottom of every body's card box.
They've been pulling that bs for over a decade now =P

Typical Arch-typical Crappily Designed Man!
Level 4/LIGHT
1500/1000
[Warrior] Be wary, Yugioh players, for it is I! Typical Arch-typical Crappily Designed Man! Whether I am so powerful that it puts people into a nerd-tastic rage, or I am so unplayable people give me away for free, be sure that you will see hundreds of cards that are dependant on me to work!


Okay, that's enough hatin' on Mr. Shittyzaki's shitty artwork, let's get to the cards!


and more S/Ts because why not

Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect 200 Life Points
Spell/Continuous
When a Spell/Trap Card is destroyed, the controller of the destroyed Spell/Trap Card sends 1 card on their side of the field to their hand.
Just like monopoly this card adds insult to injury. I guess one could make a dedicated deck out of this, but be wary of letting them bounce cards that work better being bounced.

LP Fusillade
Spell/Continuous
When a Spell, Trap or Monster card effect is negated, you gain 1200 Life Points.
Meh I probably wouldn't use it in a counter deck, more focus on drawing more counters than life points.

Vitamin 3000
Spell/Quick-Play
Discard 1 card: Gain 3000 Life Points.
LOVE IT

Delayed Demise
Spell/Normal
During your opponent's next Standby Phase, destroy 1 card on the field.
Nice and good. Catalyst food.

The Main Unevent
Spell/Normal
You gain 200 Life Points; Your opponent cannot conduct their next Main Phase 1.
Good for a short control move.

The One Thousand Delay Torture
Trap/Continuous
Your opponent cannot conduct their Battle Phase until they control only 1 monster. Pay 200 Life Points during each Standby Phase, if you cannot, destroy this card.
Fair cost for the effect. Good card.

Plasma Beam
Spell/Normal
Pay 3000 Life Points: destroy 3 cards on the field.
Fun stuff, it's nice to have high cost cards so we can make decks that get around them

Return to Sender
Trap/Counter
Negate the attack of an opponent's monster, and inflict damage equal to that monster's ATK to the opponent's Life Points.
Better than Duke and Box which probably should have happened a long time ago.

The Last Meal
Spell/Normal
Draw 4 Cards. Inflict damage to your Life Points by an amount equal to your opponent's Life Points.
Very innovative cost, but it might be pertinent to say "This damage cannot be changed by any card effect. Mind Melter, etc. would love this card.

Suicide and Danger Bonus
Spell/Continuous
During the End Phase, if your Life Points are lower than the opponent's, draw 1 card.
EACH End Phase? Too much.